Five minutes into the opening credits you find out this isn’t a James Bond villain spin-off movie. 🙁 But you give it a go anyway because you just smoked some killer weed. When you think someone pooped in the pool but it turns out your in the fucking ocean and a shark is after you. The panic on his face isn’t from the shark seen in the distance – he realizes he may have left the oven on at home while baking pot brownies. His wife (seen behind him) immediately gets pissed off. Instead of running into the ocean to save the citizen he decides to just shoot them and put them out of their misery. Because why would you go into the ocean when there is a shark near the shore? When you are trying to prep and clean for the party after an unsuccessful day of fishing, and a JAWS’ cousin Frank decides to show up way to early. The realization that you invited to many friends from the beach to your yacht party. Quint drinks all the beer before the party even begins. Then you find out you will be on a sea voyage for days. JAWS shows up to the party late and eats the last piece of pizza. What an asshole. Someone finds your stash of LSD and all hell breaks loose. Years later someone makes a lame movie about your yacht party and gets the story all wrong. So you see, JAWS wasn’t nightmare fuel. It was simply a misunderstood shark that showed up to the party a little late and ate all your pizza.