Here we go again. The third episode of American Horror Story: Hotel, Mommy, begins demonstrating some of the bad habits we’ve seen in previous seasons. The problem lies in its structure, or lack thereof. Too many characters get too little time, which results in a lack of focus. Each episode so far has run longer than an hour. The first two were 90 minutes or more. At this pace, the season is going to sputter and die before it’s halfway through its run.
I probably shouldn’t complain. At about one-third of the way into Mommy, I thought, “I guess Kathy Bates isn’t going to be in tonight’s episode,” and I was kind of sad. Then she appeared and her story stole the spotlight from the Ten Commandments mystery, of which we heard nothing else after that. You can’t have it both ways. If you want a tight episode that follows one narrative thread from beginning to end, you may not get to see every character every week.
It’s almost like an anthology series that would be better served in 30 minute chunks. Each episode in its entirely could then focus on one character or storyline. That format would at least leave us wanting more instead of feeling like we’ve just seen too much. Here we go again; I say the same thing every year. I need to get over it and accept that it is just how American Horror Story is going to be. Continually moaning about it isn’t going to change it.
That overall complaint aside, Mommy still wasn’t as strong an episode as the previous two. It opens with newly turned vampire, Tristan (Finn Wittrock), summoning his idol, James Patrick March (Evan Peters). He knows all about him because he Googled him (“That sounds obscene.”) He believes he’s the greatest serial killer of all time and wants to carry on in his place. Timing is everything and it’s the perfect time, because…
The new owner of the Hotel Cortez, Will Drake (Cheyenne Jackson) wants to demolish the floor that March haunts. Tristan pays Drake a visit and, after turning him on, pulls a knife. But Elizabeth (Lady Gaga) is standing in the hallway shaking her head. Oh, she wants him to die, too, but not until she marries him and takes “every goddam penny.” She used to be rich until she met Bernie. Yep, that Bernie… Madoff. Even vampires can be victims.
In the aftermath of Scarlett’s claims about seeing her dead brother, Holden, the Lowe family goes to counseling. We learn that Alex (Chloe Sevigny) never really wanted to raise her own kids; instead, just take care of others. Then Holden showed up and it was “a tectonic shift.” She finally felt love for real. When he disappeared, she tried to commit suicide. She doesn’t blame John (Wes Bentley), but by episode’s end, she’s served him with divorce papers.
As she’s navigating the mysterious hallways of the hotel, Alex encounters Claudia (Naomi Campbell), who was killed earlier in the episode by Gabriel (Max Greenfield), the man in the mattress. In my favorite line of Mommy, Claudia asks, “Is this hell? “No,” she decides, “If this was hell, I’d be the one in that awful knockoff you’re wearing.” Claudia, we barely knew you, but you sure were one sassy bitch. Alex also encounters Holden, who says, “Hi, mommy.”
Now that Elizabeth has kicked Donovan (Matt Bomer) to the curb, Iris (Kathy Bates) has been looking for apartments. Uh-oh, he’d live anywhere before he’d live under the same roof with her. He despises her. But she gave him life; heck, she saved his life. He wanted to die though, and thinks she brought him back for her, not for him. Iris, “I don’t know who I am if I’m not your mother.” Donovan, “Honestly, if that’s the way you feel, you should kill yourself.”
Iris takes her son’s sentiment to heart and employs Sally (Sarah Paulsen) to shoot her up. When Sally asks, “Why die,” Iris responds with, “It’s not about why die, it’s about why live. I can’t think of one reason.” Sally just wants to make sure it’s “total bye-bye;” she doesn’t want her dying with any unfinished business. The implication is that it would mean she remains in the Hotel Cortez to haunt it and Sally.
Meanwhile, Donovan is abducted by Ramona Royale (Angela Bassett), a blaxpoitation star from the 70’s who was turned and then betrayed by Elizabeth. In other words, she’s in the same position as Donovan. She wants to use him to get back at her for killing the great love of her life, who was apparently not Elizabeth. When she learns, though, that Elizabeth dumped him “last Tuesday,” she abruptly tells him to get out.
I don’t like this development at all. Elizabeth couldn’t have one of her creations creating someone else, which is what Ramona did to her man. “There could be only one queen.” Ugh, that sounds awfully familiar: American Horror Story: Coven, anyone? If this turns out to be a battle between the two women, I’m going to be more disappointed than ever in the show. Bassett is great, especially in her movie flashback scenes, but her story could be dreadful.
For my second favorite line of Mommy, Liz Taylor (Denis O’Hare) encounters sad sack Donovan in the lobby and says, “And I have a floppy appendage that prevents me from wearing a pencil skirt; we all have flaws.” He convinces Donovan that he’ll never find someone who loves him as much as his mother does. With a change of heart, he bursts in on Iris to find her with a plastic bag over her head. What happens next, as Sally would say, is “some twisted poetic justice.”
